Looking Back
I am having a lot of time to reflect on my past lately, things have been brought into focus rather when I have been looking at my children seeing how well they have done, and how did I stand up as a father for them. It set me thinking about my own mum and dad just how good were they? I can honestly say brilliant.
I was born at an early age in the maternity unit in Old Town in Swindon Wiltshire, on December 25th 1941, to Mellissa and Douglas Large, the first few years are a bit of a blur really until my brother Jeremy came along on July 14th 1944. My world was turned upside down by this momentous event I was no longer the apple of everyone's eye, I suspect it was around this time I started playing up, I was to young to see that I was getting just as much attention as my brother, the strain I put on every one must have been awful. Eventually I was sent to boarding school in Sussex, it was alright in fact it was more than alright I actually enjoyed it. The shock to my system was when I was not sent to Mayfield Collage with my class mates, but sent with my brother to St Gregory's in Cheltenham, I was bullied for a while perhaps because academically I was ahead of most of my classmates,that soon changed though.
My eleven plus exam was not entirely a success I did not get into Cirencester Grammar School much to mum and dad's disappointment they had both attended, instead I was sent to the newly opened Deer Park School, it was unusual at this time being set up in an old army camp the classrooms were Nissan huts. This was I think down to the government of the time trying to get schooling to the masses they commandeered any buildings deemed suitable. Secondary Modern was the way to go children of all abilities streamed and educated in the same place, although not eligible for a Grammar School I was always in the A stream at this place. In addition to the usual subjects we boys were taught metal work, woodwork, mechanics, all the things thought necessary to help us find a job on leaving school. About this time I developed an interest in geography and history as well as English literature, I devoured any books I could find on some of these subjects I was particularly interested in modern history the war and some of the great men of our time Brabazon of Tara, Winston Churchill, Lloyd George, my heroes were like were the pilots and air crews who grabbed my imagination, of course I wasn't thinking of the hardship and suffering so many endured during the conflict, but it made great and exciting reading.
During my final year I decided I wanted to be a woodworker, dads boss new somebody who new somebody who got me into a firm of architectural craftsmen HH Martynn and Co in Cheltenham I was excepted on a five year apprenciship not altogether a happy time.
The first year I was in some pretty awful digs sharing a bedroom with three other lads they were a lot older than myself and we had very little in common,later I moved to a new place with a lovely family Kay and Wally Slatter, she was a darling looking after us boys so well, I kept in touch with her long after I left Cheltenham, her pasties and rice pudding is something I will never forget. Thanks Kay.
Anyhow a condition of my indentures was that I attended a pre apprenticeship course at a technical college, the nearest one to us was in Stroud Gloucestershire,this required a train journey every day, I did enjoy that, steam was King at this, time I remember being hauled by many Castle and Hall class engines, some are still about today run by preservation societies.
Stroud Tech was a great place to be in those days we were treated as adults which I found at first was slightly uncomfortable but quickly that disappeared.
The tuition took me to places I had never been before, I learnt some chemistry and physics never done that at school, technical drawing found that a bit troublesome and still cannot read a design sheet, a few other subjects, the one that stood out most vividly was History, the Industrial Revolution, up to this point I had never heard of it, for the rest of my life I have been fascinated by that period in our development as a world leader. Thanks to our teacher Mr Robinson, He was deputy head,whose office was directly across from the bottom of the stairs, when the door slammed he would shout up them right you wretched animals open your books at page whatever, by the time he was in the classroom the lesson was halfway done, much to our amusement. He was a good teacher, I learnt so much from him. Thanks Robbie.
I learnt a huge amount from Martyn's of course, they had a many and varied clientele, therefore the work was the same. I learnt about veneer cutting and use of the most exotic woods the craftsmanship was incomparable, for the right person it was a fantastic place to be, I was not one of those people, in hindsight I would have been much happier working for a small builder where I would have learnt more about using machinery setting out and on sight joinery,however I did as my folks wanted stayed there saw my time out got my indentured papers.
Okay so was it a happy childhood? Of course it was right up until 1953 when our world crashed around our ears, my beloved Brother Jeremy died from diabetes, Mum and Dad were never the same again, did it effect me, you bet it did all my families affection was centred on me, I was spoilt rotten, I became intolerable I wanted for nothing. I became self centred, boorish, selfish all in all not a very nice person a right Johnny know all.
through all of my growing up Mum and Dad were always there for me supportive helpful doing whatever was needed, of course it only with the benefit of hindsight that I can truly appreciate what they did.
Its kind of odd sitting here that so much of my early memories are centred around Christmas and Holidays, the very early war years are a bit of a blur, I do remember though, our house in Fairford surrounded by Canadian troops, me peering through the hedge at these guys in strange attire, pushing sweets through it for me, Mum told me later that they were mustered ready for the D Day landings, and that she had been advised to take us somewhere quiet for the day as there would be a lot of noise which might frighten us, I think we spent th next couple of days at Nans (my grandmother), on our return they were gone.
Our war was pretty uneventful, my Grandfather and my Dad were engaged essential war work for the air ministry helping to repair and keep the airfields around us going, Grandfather was the clerk of works. Before the war he had been in charge in the construction of the same airfields, I am not sure if some of these facts are entirely accurate but for the purposes of this post is I think they are close enough.
After the War.
About 1946 I have no real timeline for this, Dad must have started a new job in Cirencester, I was old enough to go to school it was decided I should go to Our Ladies Convent in Cirencester, this meant Mum Driving me every day there,maybe Dad had yet to start work Ciren I don't know, however at some point the decision was made to move nearer to his work and my school, that is how we landed up in Ashcroft Road a ginourmous house 5 bedrooms 4 reception double size kitchen small but safely walled in garden,and 2 huge cellars, directly behind the property was where Dad worked how convenient was that? town centre a two minute walk, my school ten minute drive.
At first Mum would not allow Jeremy (my little brother) or me to play anywhere but the garden, this was fine at first but as we got to know our neighbours and their children we became restless, my folks would let any of them come to play in the house etc, after a while that didnt have the appeal of the street, most of the other kids were out there playing tag or football, running jumping, all those childhood games we spent hours with our noses pressed against the window yearning to go out. Finally one evening they relented we were made part of the group not a gang really just around eight high spirited youngsters boys and girls enjoying ourselves. Playing in the road at that time was not considered dangerous there was little or no traffic using it I think there might have been three people with cars living there. Our house became a magnet for them when it was wet we would pile into one of the rooms to play games and stuff, Mum and Dad were marvellous they never complained or objected I don't remember them doling out squash or biscuits or any food it was accepted you went home for lunch or tea except for birthdays. this is where Mum and Dad were so good they could keep an eye on us but give us freedom up to a point if they said no to something we knew they meant it and accepted it sometimes not without an argument which of course they almost always won. there were other places we could go the company had some allotments one of which belonged to our neighbour in there were a couple of trees one that seemed to me to be very big was where Mick and the rest of us built a tree house, my first visit to the platform made me realise I did not like heights, (something I have never got over) it was great fun until the factory expanded the allotments taken over and the trees cut down.
Mum and Dad were great lawn bowls players the green was almost part of our road so twas easy for them to go for a roll up when the mood took them, The Club did not have a groundsman it was up to the members to volunteer to cut the grass and generally maintain things. Dad was keen to look after the playing surface he became very knowledgeable on the subject, I spent many happy hours helping him, learning about aeration, worm casts, moss, use of fertilisers and lawn sand and much more,some of this information must have trickled into my head in later years I was able to look after my own grass. Through bowling I traveled with the rinks all over the county, this took us up to Gloucester, Cheltenham, and all points south and east as far as Bristol, I got to know my way around pretty well at this time. It seemed like every other Saturday was an away game.
Somewhere around 1pm a Millers Coach would pull up in the road, once all were on board off we set I knew not nor cared not where, it was an adventure. I never understood what all the babble and chatter was about, there was always a sweetie to be had, if we had left earlier a stop was made for a picnic so sandwiches were always welcome, on arrival at the club. Once Dad was settled Mum took us off shopping, not entirely my thing, it was not unknown for me to kick off over this. The journey home was quite different satiated with tea and cakes the chatter was much more low key, until someone decided it was time to release the tea and make way for a real drink,funny that: the driver always seemed to know where the nearest pub was, everyone piled into the bar except me, sat on a seat outside, or in the coach with either a bottle of grapefruit, or pineapple juice and a bag of Smiths Crisps know such thing as flavoured just a blue paper twist of salt, utterly delicious. Eventually of course we set off for home the men now full of beer, the ladies gin and tonic, no chattering now sitting quietly until someone started to sing Dear Old Pals Jolly Old Pals the refrain taken by someone else until the coach was in full voice, my Dad always sang Descant, his voice soaring above everyone else, Mum used to dig him in the ribs and say cant you sing like the rest of us, he either couldn't or didn't want to I'll never know, it always sounded good to me. Alas the older I got the more I railed against these jaunts, in the end it was decided I could stay at home looked after by my Nan (granny) she was a fantastic old dear a font of knowledge and full of stories about the family, I so regret now that I didn't listen more intently to them, the more I try to remember those time the more gaps I am unable to fill, actually its been a bit like that with Mum.
The bowls club would not allow youngster to join and play, that wasn't so important for me I lost interest once in my teens and found other activitis.
Going back a bit aged seven I was sent to boarding school in sussex My folks thinking this would be a good idea, maybe it was because was a bit of a handful, I like to think it was a genuine desire to ensure the best education they could afford. I actually liked it there It was the preparatory school to Mayfield College where I hoped to go later. run by monks the school was situated in large grounds with woods lakes orchards and playing fields for both football and cricket, and athletics, I was never good enough for the school team but I enjoyed them just the same. I worked hard at my lessons Music was the one I liked best, I discovered I had a fair voice and an ability to hold a melody, I found learning songs easy I could remember tunes and lyrics easily after hearing them a couple of times, perhaps this came from Dad who had a large collection of records he often bought new stuff, which we would play on an HMV windup gramophone, I would listen for hours to light classical and opera,pieces,jazz, swing the range was wide and varied and I loved it, much of the stuff of course was prewar popular dance and, I remember Benimeno Gigli was a particular favourite of his a close second was Charlie Kunz ( a rhythm pianist), George van Dusen a yodeller, Will Fyffe, I said he had an eclectic taste. the great thing was I am allowed to use this wonderful machine it was hard work winding the handle. Soon I was old enough to want my own music and a better player, we put dad's Pye Valve radio into a cabinet I converted from an old cupboard and somehow got hold of a turntable and arm, now we could play LPs and EPs and singles all of course in Mono but the sound was so much better, it's was about this time I started experimenting with loud speakers, by accident I discovered putting a speaker in the top of a tube or pipe the bass was increased dramatically, my poor old mum endured having a 4foot glazed drainpipe sited behind her settee, using different sized pipes I could change the frequency, of course this was not HI FI that had not yet come into the mainstream market, but this cobbled together system sounded pretty good to me. I loved the music of my youth rock and roll was almost starting, Pre the Beatles and The Stones,who I didn't like much then and feel the same way now.
Listening to music has always been a big part of my life, however I think it was as much to do with the way the sound was produced as anything, ever since those early days with dad's wind up gramophone right thru to today's systems, even at these more advanced years I can appreciate the difference between digital and analogue recording valve or solid state amps, I love the sound of a good valve amp and an LP for me there's just something magical about that sound.
Around 1951/52 Mum and Dad decided to move me from Sussex to St Gregory's School in Cheltenham a bit of a culture shock but I soon settled in and made friends. It was an adventure every day catching a bus from Cirencester to Cheltenham at 8:05 to be in school for 9am, after a while I discovered other slightly older than I people going to college etc we would all travel at the same time coming home again on the 4:15 I remained friends with many of them for years afterwards. This is where I am not so sure MUM AND DAD made the right decision for me all my mates were at school in Ciren they had gone either to the grammar or secondary school by time I got there, I probably would have been happier and feel less isolated had I gone there from Sussex. I don't know. Around this time was the biggest upheaval of our lives, my little brother was diagnosed with diabetes, not so much was known about it then, in fact we hadn’t heard of it. The poor lad had a rotten time of it and finally succumbed on 19th February 1953. It was a hell of a shock to Dad,a part of Mum died on that day she never recovered, for me every time I think of him which is most days I miss him and wonder what might have been.
A great thing that happened on my 8th birthday I got my first bike not a toy or with trainer wheels but a proper small framed job, it was black made by Hercules just about he right size for me at that time no need for blocks on the pedals and the saddle and handle bars adjustable to grow with me, I well remember Dad puffing alongside me holding onto the saddle, giving me confidence, he wasn't going to let me fall, suddenly he was not there I had found my balance and was away, the freedom this machine gave me was wonderful no longer was I confined to the roads near me but could explore my surroundings as never before. This freedom was denied to my children the highways and byways deemed to busy and to dangerous, although they did have proper cycle training at their junior school, by the redoubtable PC Bob Sammons, on reflection I don't think they were that worried, for as soon as they were able Lizzy wanted a scooter Edward a Motor Bike both of which I was dead against, in my opinion far to dangerous, but I was overruled, both came through the phase pretty much unscathed,Ed still owns and rides a variety of Machines for fun as time the weather and his mood takes him, I continue to worry every time I know he's out on them. I digress on starting work I treated myself to a racing cycle paid on instalments over a year, now my friends and I could really explore, we went everywhere to Stroud, Cheltenham, Fairford, Lechlade and all points in between, together we followed the rail lines from Kemble to Stroud, calling in at the many stations along the line taking engine numbers and names. likewise from Cirencester to Swindon, we must have appeared a right menace to the staff, it didn't occur to us to vandalise these places the odd penny on the line for the train to squash was about the limit,so much so we were never asked to leave or got banned from these places. We were blessed with boundless energy, but as our teens developed the guys all left school and started work, some locally some like myself away toward our twenties we were drifting apart, I discovered the joys of feminine company spending many happy hours in their company.
Throughout these times Mum and Dad were always there for me despite my ill humour bad grace and silliness, as always offering their help and support, now they are no more I realise just how much I owe to them,and how much I miss them.
My two have done alright for themselves. Lizzy put herself through University,to become a qualified occupational therapist a swell as producing two lovely boys, Edward is a qualified Tennis coach with his own successful business.
So have I been a good parent? Well looking at the above I would say the jury's out.
As for me? Well I served my apprenticeship in joinery,went on to manage some fairly large shops before starting a moderately successful private hire business.
Now happily married to my beautiful Yevgeniya.
